The world expects believers in Christ to be--what, exactly? Well, different. More moral than the norm. To obey Jesus' teachings (even if the world is shaky on what Jesus taught and why Jesus came). To be faithful to their spouses. To "not judge" (which is a whole other topic to come). To treat people kindly, decently, graciously, and generously. And all of this is more than fair.
So why do we often seem not only no better or different, but actually of worse character than people who don't claim Christ? I suggest the reasons fall into two categories: cultural/sociological and theological.
Most of the time, good character is apt to be a result of being raised in a loving, functional, stable family, regardless of that family's religious practice or lack thereof. And often (not always) these are the people who grow up handling life on their own. They know how to behave, they've been taught the importance of preparing to find meaningful and remunerative work, they've had healthy family life and friendships modeled for them and are likelier to be able to build the same for themselves. They are also likelier to feel they are basically good people (with their share of foibles, they will admit), and that it's up to them to make their own way in life.
Contrast this with those who grew up in more chaotic, unsafe, disadvantaged, or undependable environments, who learned unhealthy patterns of relating, didn't feel loved, didn't have their needs met, or had all they could do to just survive. Often (not always) it's those who grow up more broken than whole who know they need God because they can't make it otherwise. Jesus said He came not to call the righteous (those who think they're good on their own) but sinners (those who know they need Him). Jesus told the Pharisees (self-righteous) that the tax collectors and prostitutes (repentant sinners) would enter the kingdom ahead of them. It starts to make sense, then, that the church might be a little messier than the world is when it comes to propriety. Cleansed by the blood though they may be, the wounds inflicted by their backgrounds will usually heal only gradually as they walk out their saved lives with fear and trembling--and that's only if they allow God to work in those areas. So, from the world's point of view, the church may indeed contain more riffraff, to be blunt. Of course, we who know we are ragged have opportunity for greater character growth in Christ than the temporal world can offer or attain.
What about the theological reasons? Why can the world system produce any good solid people at all, and where do they get any moral standard by which they can evaluate moral standards? Four principles, I think. First, least palatable, but still true, is that we have a spiritual enemy who knows where we're weak and is going to go after Christians harder. Why? Because the unsaved world is already on its way to hell without him having to lift a finger, and because he hates God and will try to discredit Him by discrediting His people. This is not an excuse for "The devil made me do it!" at all, as the choice to "do it" was ours, but when he tempts vulnerable people who haven't fully healed from trauma, sometimes stuff happens. Second, and second least palatable, is that we have wolves among the sheep, meaning some of this sin "in the church" is committed by people who aren't actually the church. Jesus and Paul both warned that false prophets and teachers and "grievous wolves" would infiltrate us, and we'd be foolish to think a time will come when they won't be here. Fortunately, they are at times discovered and rooted out, but this can cause so much damage that through it we gain a better understanding of the parable's admonition to let both the wheat and tares grow until the harvest.
The two other principles are (a) God made all people in His image, and (b) the human race is sinful. We have both "universal image of God" and "universal sinfulness," to borrow phrasing from author Timothy Keller in his book The Reason for God. Scripture says real Christian behavior will be approved by general culture (Matthew 5:16; 1 Peter 2:12), which can be explained by the fact that God's image resides in every human being. If all bear God's image, then we can reasonably expect unbelievers to be "better people" than their unbelief would suggest, and if all are universally sinful, then believers will likely be "worse people" in practice than their belief would suggest. So, though our respective eternal destinies couldn't be more different, down here on Earth we often look more alike than we'd think.
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